Sunday, August 06, 2006

Uncanny X-Periment # 48: "Gold Team"

Uncanny X-Men # 281-286

Important side-note: as of Uncanny X-Men # 286, I have officially lapped myself. Uncanny 286 was my very first X-Book. As I read it again the other night, I couldn't help but get a little nostalgic. I remembered how I poured over that comic day and night when I was a boy of mere 9 years old - trying to figure out what everyone was doing and who everyone was. It was the good ol' days.

Reading it again, however, I find myself going into "mature reader" mode and finding just how flawed 286 and many of the issues around it are.

Running parallel to the Blue Team's adventure with Omega Red, the X-Men meet up with Emma Frost and the Hellions at the Hellfire Club. There, Emma warns them of a new foe who has killed Sebastion Shaw and is after both the X-Men and the Hellfire Club. Seeking to make good on their alliance from about 80 issues ago, Emma has asked for their help. Unfortunately, we find out the enemy has struck again - sending oddly adaptive Sentinals after Donald Pierce and the Reavers. Pierce shows up at the meeting thanks to Gateway and the Sentinals follow. The Sentinals take Emma captive and kill Jean Grey.

Yep. Jean's dead.

For those keeping score that means it's time # 3 (the shuttle and Dark Phoenix).

But, of course, she's not really dead. She actually managed to move her mind into Emma's body. That's right. Emma Frost and Jean have switched bodies after an attack by Sentinals that have the ability to adapt technology to their own bodies (for repairs). This is a funny bit of history, considering what happens about ten years later.

But I digress . . .

The X-Men head off to get Emma's body (after Jean's body is made undead or something) and find out who the real culprits are - the Upstarts! Apparently, the Upstarts are a team of wealthy power players who gain leadership of the group by killing off X-Men and Hellfire Club related people. It's all moderated by a super-telepath by the name of the Gamemaster and my 2nd least favorite X-Villian, Selene.

Among the ranks of the Upstarts and the guy who ordered the attack on Pierce is the time traveler Trevor Fitzroy. By killing Pierce and Jean, and kidnappng Frost, he's in control of the Upstarts now. BUT there's trouble. As the X-Men attack the Upstarts, a time portals opens up and three people appear from the future to retrieve Fitzroy: Bishop, Randall, and Malcolm. They battle Fitzroy and the X-Men, then escape and hunt down other time travelling criminals.
After fighting Bishop and co. and getting Jean's head on right, the X-Men are side-tracked by a massive portal that opens between our world and some other world. Coincidently, Sunfire is there! Even more coincidently, Colossus' brother is on the other world! WOW! The X-Men rescue Colossus' brother Mikhail, close the portal and head on home.

It's hard for my to really define what's wrong with these issues, because there's more wrong than right. A lot more wrong.

Let's start with the right. First of all, there are some neat concepts here. The Upstarts feel like bad-asses. They've got Sentinals, they wipe out the Reavers, and they practically destroy the Hellfire Club. Second, the new characters are pretty neat too. I also liked Mikhail for some reason. Kind of a tragic character, I guess. Plus, there's Bishop, who is among my favorites.

The art is pretty cool, too. Whilce Portacio, take a bow.

On the bad . . .

The major problem with these stories here and in the last entry is that no one seems to know what they're doing. I'm well aware of the behind the scenes strife - with Claremont being fired, with Bryne scripting then leaving, and bringing Lobdell to finish these arcs off. The trouble is that a lot of that chaos is bleeding into the pages.

The charactes are 1-Deminsional. Even the ones that we get close up on - Colossus, Jean and Wolverine, in particular - all come off as cliched and uninteresting. They feel more like pieces being across a chessboard than characters that we've known and loved since Uncanny X-Men # 1 and Giant-Sized X-Men # 1.

The stories are okay at best and razor thin at worst. Sure, the Upstarts prove themselves as bad-asses early on, but the stories are so bad that they get pretty much ignored. Ten years later, Pierce and the Reavers are back and giving the X-Men Hell and no one remembers the Upstarts unless they read a back-issue or visit UXN. Mikhail's been sent into limbo and back so many times, it's not even funny. Even Sunfire's awesome new costume vanishes and gets replaced with his original one.

Plus, there's the death of Jean Grey - again. It's pointless other than to gives us some eye-candy. That pretty much speaks of this entire little run of issues. There's nothing new or interesting brought to the table that is good enough to stick - except for Bishop.

This is almost a rut, but I do know that given the right amount of time, the new creators solidify themselves and start to find their own voice. Until then, I'm stuck with some nice art, but extremely uninteresting stories.

~W~

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